This post is part of our blog series, The A to Z of Being Babyproof, a celebration of the attitudes and behaviours it takes to balance career and family – because “babyproof” is not a destination, it’s a blueprint for having it all and making it work.
Are you a believer? Last week on the blog we explored how it is possible to challenge negative or unhelpful beliefs about working parenthood, and harness a positive mindset to help you achieve your goals and ‘have it all’. If you’re already on the same page – congratulations! Positive beliefs are a great foundation for future success and you are half-way there already. If you are finding it hard to eliminate uncertainty and negativity from your belief systems however, we might be able to give you a little more food for thought this week. I am definitely a believer in having it all (although I wasn’t always) and want you to be one too. It’s more fun over here in the land of positivity, and a lot more rewarding too!
Still having doubts?
If you are, here are my 5 brilliantly uplifting reasons to believe you can ‘have it all’.
- It opens your mind and makes you dream big. By removing limiting beliefs, your mind is opened to new possibilities. (See Barbara Fredrickson’s fantastic book on Positivity which explains how positive thinking builds and broadens a life-affirming outlook and subsequent actions). Once you eliminate the ‘I can’t’ from your life, you become free to aim as high as you like – you are now in control and you can decide what you want your life to look like and what your goals should be. This is such a liberating feeling! What do you want from your career? What is your vision of family life? It’s up to you. Believe. Dream often and dream big.
- It makes you resilient. If you have a positive mindset, you are much better able to cope with setbacks. You see failure as part of a learning process and can adapt and thrive. Having a grand ambition is a highly motivating force. If it’s worth fighting for, you can face challenges as they arise. The more challenges you overcome, the more positive you feel. And the better you feel, the more you believe, and the more positively you act and perform. It’s a vicious circle – but of motivation and empowerment. What could be better?
- It makes you solution focused. Researchers Paul Hammerness and Margaret Moore have described how negative emotions of anxiety, anger or frustration are processed by the amygdala and this primitive part of the brain is designed to activate a fight or flight response. As such, negative beliefs paralyse cognitive processes and prevent you from problem solving effectively. Positive beliefs have the opposite effect – improving the brain’s cognitive function and opening your mind to more possibilities using strategic and creative thinking. Believing and being positive actually makes you cleverer – who knew?
- It’s empowering. It might be easier to sit back and blame circumstances/events/other people for your inaction or setbacks, but it certainly makes you feel insignificant and small. Adopting the positive belief that you can have it all puts you firmly in control of your own destiny. Once you believe you are in control, you can decide where you want to go and what you want to be. You may initially find it a bit scary having to take responsibility for your actions and decisions, but you will feel empowered and hugely energised in the long run.
- You’ll attract positive people.
Yes, positives attract! At least they do on a psychological level. Do you ever notice that there are some people in your circles of friends and acquaintances who seem to radiate drive, energy and positivity – and that people seem naturally drawn to them? It’s no coincidence. The more positive you are, the more positive people will be drawn to you. You in turn will be inspired by them, and thus the cycle of positive energy continues. So – ditch those doubts – and the doubters. Hang out with people who energise and inspire you, believe in yourself and your dreams will be there for the taking.
For more tips and resources on balancing work and family life, sign up to register for the Bayproof Your Career online course, coming soon.
Caroline Flanagan is a Keynote Speaker, Babyproof Coach and Author of Babyproof Your Career, The Secret to Balancing Work and Family so you can Enjoy It All. Caroline believes passionately in the dream of having it all, and founded Babyproof Your Life to train and prepare ambitious career women for the marathon of working parenthood so they can find their own way to #enjoyitall and #makeitwork. You can reach Caroline at email@example.com